In a week overshadowed by anxiety, depression, and financial challenges, a small beacon emerged—a new title for my novel series, replacing the placeholder “The Behemoth.”

When We’re in a Wilder Land

I came upon my title while listening to Manchán Magan on The Earthly Delights podcast.

I was captivated as always by his insights into culture, history, language, and ecosystems. Manchán’s vision of Ireland becoming “a lot wilder with pockets of productivity,” questioning, “How’s that going to change our way of thinking when we’re wilder? When we’re in a wilder land?” echoed in my mind.

Those two words—a wilder land—instantly stuck out to me and rang through my head. I wrote them out on my whiteboard so I could see them more clearly. Immediately, I knew that this was the title I’d been so desperately chasing for the past year and a half.

It perfectly encapsulates the world I’ve crafted, where Nature, having reclaimed dominance, challenges humanity’s right to claim a place within it. The story explores the dichotomy between those yearning for former human-ruled world and those seeking to live in alignment with Nature.

Creative Respite

Amid high-pressure creation, I’ve taken a step back. Editing photos, and indulging in hypothetical designs for local businesses have become my creative sanctuary. Sometimes, taking a break is the most profound form of progress.

Financial Storms

I’ve put off facing my financial trouble as long as I possible could in hopes that something would change for the better before it reached its breaking point. Now I’m at that breaking point and grappling with the feelings of hopelessness that come with it.

It always seems to be this same cyclic pattern of progress followed by setbacks and all it does is just intensify the struggle. My nights are sleepless and fraught with anxious thoughts.

And yet in the vulnerability, I see a glimmer of hope on the horizon. It’s a fragile hope, contingent on everything going perfectly, and that’s really scary.

Uncharted Waters

Of course, this financial ordeal intensifies my desire for a job that values my efforts, heightening my desperation for change. It prompts questions of self-worth and the relentless feeling of stagnation. Yet, even in these stormy times, there’s an acknowledgment that change, though elusive, is the only constant.

While the storm rages, I find solace in creative expressions and newfound titles. The challenges are formidable, but within them lie seeds of transformation. Life’s pendulum swings, and as I navigate these waters, I’m learning to find stability in creativity, resilience in chaos, and hope in the possibility of a wilder yet harmonious land.