Hello, world. It’s been a while since I did a proper blog post, I know. I didn’t expect to be gone so long, but, as it often does, life got a little on top of me. I had to let something drop. It wasn’t going to be my manuscript (and it couldn’t be work), so it ended up being this blog.

Still, I wanted to try to get this update out, because, despite rampant burnout, there has also been progress!

As long-time readers will already know, this year, I was fortunate enough to be awarded a grant from the Minnesota State Arts Board to hire an editor to work with on my current WIP, Wilderlands. I’m incredibly thankful for this grant. There’s just no other way I would have been able to afford to work with an editor, and I love my editor (Hi, Kellie, if you’re reading this!).

The only downside to doing this through a grant is that everything has to happen within the grant’s fiscal year. Which is a challenge, I’m sure, for any artist in any medium, but it is especially hard for novel writers. Our medium is long-form fiction, and most of the ways we judge “significant progress” in art (a finished product, a public showing, etc.) takes more than a year for novel writers. Add to that my personal struggles due to my disabilities, and that process gets slowed down even more. Deadlines are great for motivation, but can also contribute to already-worsening burnout.

But, as I said, things have actually been going really well! When I planned my grant budget for the application, I had to estimate everything because I had never worked with an editor before and, largely, had no idea what to expect. I didn’t want to bite off more than I could chew when setting my goals, nor did I want to underestimate the cost.

And as it turns out, I was not only able to meet my original goal for the project in time for my “public showing” (the community ed class I taught in June that you can see the content for in my previous post), but I had enough money left to do another round of edits with my editor!

Which, honestly, if I had known enough to plan for this all along, I should have. Because, even though it was super helpful to get my editor to go through my manuscript and give me insight and suggestions the first time, it would have really felt like we left the process half-finished without having her do another full read and feedback after I finish rewrites from the first round.

So, it’s all worked out really well, and I’m getting to a point where I’m excited about my manuscript and what I see coming out in my writing. The characters feel more alive on the page, and some (though not all) of the scenes feel more natural to write.

And, if that’s where this story ended, everything would be grand. I would be busy, but great. Tried but great. But, of course, nothing is ever that easy. I’ve still got all the trappings of everyday life to keep up with, and normal life lately has not been satisfied with sitting on the sidelines while I live my dreams. When is it ever, really?

Life has not been overly kind to me lately, as it hasn’t been for many people. And I am so eternally grateful to my amazing friends (and therapist) who have helped support me through this tough time, and so grateful for the little communities I’m connected with that help to bolster me up.

But it’s still been a very difficult time for me, and I’m channeling every ounce of spare energy I have into my manuscript, which leaves little time for things like this blog.

And, honestly, sometimes the last thing I need is more time with my thoughts.

I’ve been spending more time on what you might call analog hobbies when I’m not writing, so I don’t fall into doom scrolling or panic spiralling. Less time on my phone or computer and more time doing paint by number (I’m working on my first guided embroidery project right now!). Less time online and more time in the moment.

For now, that means fewer blog posts, but it’s how I can protect my sanity. I do hope to do some posts about my actual editing journey in the future, but I make no promises for when those will come out.

Take care of yourselves out there. And I’ll see you all in a hopefully nearby, brighter future.